Real Leaders Go First
The photo looks dramatic… me hanging over the edge of a cliff.
But leadership often feels like that.
You make the call. You risk the fall. You move first, not because it’s comfortable, but because someone has to.
And the people behind you? They’re watching how you lead.
Not what you say. Not what’s printed in the handbook.
They’re asking themselves a question you don’t always hear out loud:
Can I trust this person to lead me through what’s next?
That question matters more than any metric or strategy. Because if your team doesn’t trust you, nothing else works.
One of the Best Leadership Books I’ve Ever Read
Stephen M. R. Covey’s The Speed of Trust is one of my favorite leadership texts.
It calls out something most people avoid… trust isn’t just a warm feeling. It’s a skill.
Trust is a decision.
A performance multiplier.
You can measure it. You can teach it.
And you can destroy it faster than you think.
In my coaching work, I’ve seen it all:
High-functioning teams poisoned by silent resentment.
Top-level execs who check all the boxes but command no real loyalty.
People who say all the right things but aren’t trusted to follow through.
And here’s the hard truth:
If your team doesn’t trust you, it’s your responsibility to figure out why.
What Trust Looks Like in Practice
One of my clients led a team that was burned out and disengaged.
They were doing the job. Hitting the numbers.
But no one was giving their best ideas.
No one was taking meaningful risks.
No one was telling the truth in meetings.
They weren’t lazy. They were afraid. And they didn’t trust her.
We worked on consistency.
Clarity.
Credibility.
She stopped performing leadership and started practicing it.
And every week, she asked herself two questions:
“What have I done this week that builds trust?”
“What have I done that could quietly be eroding it?”
Not vague reflection. Real inventory.
And it worked.
The team started showing up again.
They challenged her ideas. They offered more of themselves. They started moving like they trusted each other—and her.
Because she led first. With intention and transparency.
Not perfection. Just consistency.
The Discomfort You Need to Feel
If you can’t name the last time your team gave you feedback without being asked…
If no one ever challenges your direction…
If people agree with you too quickly…
You should be uncomfortable.
Silence is not trust.
Compliance is not commitment.
And polite nodding is not a sign of health.
Maybe you’ve been confusing agreement with trust, it’s time to take a closer look.
Trust Is a Leadership Skill
You do not get to outsource trust-building to HR.
You do not get to hope your team just knows you’ve got their back.
You do not get to be inconsistent and expect loyalty in return.
You set the tone.
And if you are not actively modeling, protecting, and restoring trust in your leadership—someone else on your team is cleaning up the mess.
You go first. That’s how it works.
2024